42 Comments
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Snow and Pink Roses's avatar

What a beautifully-written essay. Thank you for sharing your past with us.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thank you for reading!

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Don Boivin's avatar

I'm glad you're still here, Matthew. In both respects. I was sad when I read that you were going to find a job and slow down on Substack. Is that still the case?

Your post has inspired me to talk to my therapist about some things that happened to me many years ago. Not as bad as your experience but still painful and traumatic. (I see a therapist to talk about my relationship with my children, so we haven't really gone into my own past outside of fatherhood).

Thanks, Matthew!

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Matthew Long's avatar

Don, I am looking for work but I am not in a rush. I want to find something meaningful that aligns with this season of my life. We will see what comes along!

I do intend to keep writing. However, after this year I don't plan to run the book club anymore. It is a lot of work and didn't lead to the growth (i.e. paid subs) that I had hoped. So once The Odyssey is finished I will go back to a once a week format.

Glad to hear you are considering talking to someone about your experiences. It has helped me immensely. Hope you are doing well.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I have stagnated on paid subs as well. I was up to 55 but I am now down to 50 or so. Of course I never market, but still, I’m not so sure one can make a living on Substack without either being a celebrity or selling one’s soul. 😈

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Kathleen Clare Waller's avatar

“Unshared secrets corrode love.” 💙💙

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thanks for being here Kate. I appreciate you.

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Rona Maynard's avatar

Matthew, I remember this essay (but not my appearance in it). What you’ve said with honesty, courage and clarity can’t be said too many times. I hope you’ll repost this every year.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thanks Rona. I so appreciated your words and how they made me feel seen. I hope you are well.

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My Walk's avatar

💕💕 I’m glad you’re here too, continue to write

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Matthew Long's avatar

Many thanks for reading!

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

I have said this before, but I won’t tire of repeating it, it takes courage to open yourself to vulnerability … doing so with family, friends and those who have helped you to navigate your past in this present is one thing - opening up this learning through your journey for other folk here in this community is doubly courageous. Super proud of you, my friend, and inspired by the connection you have created with your emotions. I hope you’ll find a rhythm for sharing your words here … they are so powerful and very important. I am sure they will help so many others, as well as yourself. B

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thank you my friend. At 47 I am learning to embrace the journey!

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Feasts and Fables's avatar

At 60 I’m still learning that too … relish the journey 🙌

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Jenn Zuko's avatar

Thank you so much for this.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thanks for reading and being here Jenn.

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Sam Alaimo's avatar

This is deeply moving, Matthew. I cannot conceive of this sort of trauma done to a child, nor what it must have been like to hold it inside for so long. Your ability to suffer and suffer beautifully until you found the light once again is proof that despite much of the evil in the world, the good will not fail. Stay in the fight.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thank you Sam. I appreciate you taking the time to read and understand a little more of my journey.

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Cams Campbell's avatar

A beautiful piece, Matthew. That must've taken courage to share.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thank you. I appreciate you giving it a read.

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Therese Long's avatar

My heart still breaks for you, knowing that you have lived in so much pain. Yet, your dad and I have seen so much growth throughout the past few years. Each of us encounter trials in our life, some much worse than others, but each must also choose the path that we will continue for the rest of our life. You have chosen the better path! Love, Mom

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thanks Mom! Love you guys.

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Chris Tracey's avatar

What a wonderful essay Matthew. Thank you for sharing. Reaching those words about cracking and light reminded me of Leonard Cohen's lyrics, "There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Thanks again for letting it, and us, in. Glad to have connected with you here.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thank you Chris. I appreciate you being here and taking the time to read. I love those lyrics as well. Thanks for sharing.

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Will Cooper's avatar

Very brave words Matthew. So honest.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Thanks Will. Hope you are enjoying your beach time!

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Brandon D's avatar

I always thought I was the only one. I’m just now starting my counseling journey so appreciate you sharing your story so I know that I am not alone in my experiences. In an odd way, it helps. Thank you.

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Matthew Long's avatar

I think most victims feel as if they are alone, not realizing there are so many others also suffering in silence. It takes courage to face our traumas and embrace hope. Thanks for taking the time to read and I am glad it was helpful. All the best.

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A. Jay Adler's avatar

I remember when you first published this, Matthew. I admired you for it then and still do, my friend.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Many thanks Jay.

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Jessamyn Dechert Irwin's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing this.

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Matthew Long's avatar

You are welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read.

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Lou Blaser's avatar

Hi Matthew. I cannot imagine what you've been through, and I find it so brave for you to share your experience with us. These lines resonate with me so much: "Just breathe. It will all be over soon. These are the lies we tell ourselves to survive." I have my own version of those sentiments in my life, and you talking about yours helps me crack the door just a little bit and let some light in. Thank you.

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Matthew Long's avatar

Lou! Great to hear from you and thank you for reading. I am glad my words could help in some way. I so appreciate you and hope you are doing well.

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