I read Miguel Street by V. S. Naipaul years ago. I hated it. It got left behind at my parents’ home years ago. At Thanksgiving I found it, read it, couldn’t put it down and loved it. Seasons of my life might be defined by what books found me at the right time.
Max - I absolutely agree. I believe books find us when we need them. I have several examples of similar situations in my own life where I had different experiences with a book years later. Appreciate your taking the time to comment here.
Thank you for sharing your personal journey here, Matthew. I think it's so important and astute to recognise when we are in the right place (or season) to take on any challenge, let alone something as huge as the Appalachian trail! I hope you get to it someday, but it's great that you recognise what you really want to focus on in the season in front of you. Have you read Cheryl Strayed's 'Wild'? This is an example of a book I read in the "right" season (for me). I found the book as I was grieving for my own mum, and felt Strayed's own grief mirrored my own. Taking on the Appalachian trail as a way to navigate her loss inspired me very much.
Thanks so much Kate. I have read "Wild" and thought it was very good. I liked it better than the movie, although the movie was ok too. I thought she did a great job of explaining how the trail was integral to navigating the chaos in her life at that time. I think the best trails are like that. They are hard and challenging but the reward at the end is amazing, not to mention all the things we learned along the way.
I know you want to talk books, but I want to talk about trails. Have you considered setting aside the pressure of completing the trail as a through-hiker, and just hiking it incrementally over the course of several years. There is so much pressure to do it all at once, but there is beauty in not being rushed. In addition, the time away from your family will feel less of an obstacle, the time in each place would not be soured by utter exhaustion, and you could choose the time of year that most calls to you in each section. It's just a thought, but I think the idea that endurance is goal may be causing a lot of people from missing out on the full beauty of the trail, and may be holding people back from years of incredible life experiences that don't have to be experienced in one fell swoop.
Troy - thanks for taking the time to join the conversation, it means so much. For me, books are just a gateway to greater conversation so yes, I do want to talk books, but I also want to talk life, which is what it is really all about.
I have heard of quite a few people doing section hikes of the trail and I 100% agree with you that it is valid method of completing the trail. To be honest, that is what I will probably end up doing, a week or two per year until complete. There was a part of me that wanted to do the whole thing in one shot but for all the reasons you mention, taking it in smaller chunks might just be the better way to go. All the best!
Thank you for the mention, Matthew! Seasons of life and how they shape our journeys, literary or otherwise—there's so much here and you capture it all beautifully. Your recognition that perhaps what is best for you and your loved ones is not what you originally imagined is admirable. It reminds me of how, in fiction, there is a shift from what a character wants to what a character needs. I have a feeling you'll get to that hike at some point.😊
Thanks so much Maria. I really appreciate your regular engagement here. I think you are right about the trail. As Troy mentioned in another comment, one option is to do it in smaller chunks over a period of years. I think that makes a lot of sense and could work as a better plan for me.
Matthew, I enjoyed your story and points about the right time to read a book. I’ve heard my students say that they hated a book until they read-read it as an adult. I will say that I’ve picked up books I taught myself --enjoyed them more as a retired teacher because of experience and age. This winter I’m re-reading Twain as an example!
Hi Diane. Growing up near Hannibal, MO, I read many of Twain's works during my school years but I probably need to take another go at them now that so much time has passed. I am sure it would be a significantly different experience. Thanks so much for your years of teaching. My mom, sister, and wife are all teachers and I know how important those roles are. Let me know what you think of Twain this time around.
I resonated with this a lot. Over the past year, I've tried to move away from rating books (except for my own benefit) because you're right; sometimes you're not in the right season for a particular book, and there's no reason to beat yourself up over it. I've tried certain books that didn't work for me, but upon returning to them at a later time, found that I was much more able to appreciate them. Some of them have become lifetime favourites.
And on a more personal note, I've also been in a long season of having to focus narrowly on family and health. It can be frustrating not having the capacity to do All The Things. I'm still trying to make my peace with that, so this post was quite timely. Thank you, Matthew.
Tiffany - Thanks for taking the time to comment, it means a lot to me. It is interesting that you bring up ratings. I had a Goodreads account for 10+ years. It was a great site for keeping track of what I read and wanted to read but it was very ratings focused. I realized that some books I had rated highly when I was younger I could barely remember and other that had seemed not as good had stuck with me. The ratings themselves were subjective to the season of my life. So I recently deleted Goodreads because I wanted to move away from a ratings oriented mentality and I am also gracefully exiting social media in an effort to simplify life in general. I have found that keeping a simple notebook with a list is just as effective and often serendipitous as I look through and remember things read from different seasons.
I think that the recognition that we have a limited capacity and need to prioritize things in our lives is hard, especially for people who have been accustomed to trying to do it all. There are still plenty of days I argue with myself regarding what things need my attention most. Self-care, mental health, and physical health are at the top of the list because if those things aren't in a good place then I am useless to my family. Thanks for sharing your own personal experience and being vulnerable. All the best!
Same! I'm still on Goodreads, but also trying to move away from it. It's definitely an easy way to track books, but I'd like to avoid Amazon-owned things if possible. I got a reading journal I plan to start using next year, and I also use Notion.
Very good point - something I am learning too. There's not much point pushing ourselves past our limits when it just leaves us even more incapacitated. Best wishes as you navigate all that as well!
And side note on social media: I've now been off all forms of that for two months and loving it. I left very abruptly, however, so I do have a plan to go back for a short period and let people know about my move to Substack so they have a way to keep up with me if they still wish haha.
I gave everyone a heads up that 31 December is my last day and then I will delete Facebook and Instagram. I am barely using them as it is though since I already removed them from my phone. It is amazing how much time I get back in my day.
So much in here, Matthew, and some great questions to get us all involved.
The book I set aside (way back in the late-90s, I suspect) was 'Underworld' by Don DeLillo. Wrong time, too distracted, the book was too long. I'm in a different 'season' now and so it became the 800+ page first read of this year, an intentionally slower read. I was ready for it and it was ready for me.
I like this notion of life's 'seasons'. I spent 30 years in the traditional'ish 'world of work' (military) and then broke out without knowing what next. After realising quickly that I wasn't made for the usual corporate follow up to that career, I set out on a season of discovery and curiosity. We created a small business, I ran a marathon, read more, starting to write with a bit more intent, and I discovered a pathway to being a mentor (an 'encourager') which I would not have found if I'd stayed mired in work.
The walk. It's great to have a massive goal, but the weight of it may be too much, the disappointment of the 'right' time not showing up could lead to regret. Why not make it a family thing. Do some small hikes together - or you and one other member of the family. Talk about your ambition ... make plans to do sections. Tie that in to a family holiday - don't insist that anyone joins in ... use the holiday accommodation as a base for you to walk for a few days while the family chooses other stuff ... meet up for a celebratory meal at the end of the section you walked. Get folk involved in other ways than shutting yourself into it for months on end. Measure your incremental achievements against the wider value of family. Just a thought.
Barrie - sincerely appreciate you taking the time for such a thoughtful response.
I had a nearly identical experience with 'Underworld' except that I haven't picked it back up yet! It is on my list to take another look at in the next few years.
Seems that we have had somewhat similar paths. This next summer will complete a 24 year military career for me. I am ready for something new but not sure exactly what that means yet. I have no interest at all entering the corporate world. Dream job would be working in an antiquarian book store but not many of those around here. We will see what comes.
I think that your ideas about my hike are good. Troy made similar comments previously. They mimic my own thoughts. I can see doing a week or two here and there. Including family members for a section if desired. So many possibilities. Plus doing it over a number of years is much less stressful and more logistical feasible. Could be a relationship building event rather than just a solo walk in the woods.
Appreciate your encouragement. I look forward to continued dialogue and building friendship here.
Glad it struck a tuneful chord, Matthew. In the run up to next Summer, if you fancy jumping on a Zoom call to swap ideas about 'transition' I'd be happy to throw some experience into the mix. I've spoken to quite a few contemporaries as they went through the process. My own post-Service experience is well off the beaten track compared to many of the guys I served with. Let me know and I'm sure we can wrestle time zones into submission. PS ... it sounds like a business opportunity if that bookshop doesn't exist. Add some cool stationery, a regular book club, a decent coffee machine, writing booths to linger in and you have all the makings! I'd visit!
Without sounding cheesy, thank you for your Service.
You are so right about the different seasons of our lives. This is why you can never force someone to change or grow. If they aren’t ready, if it isn’t spring for them, they’ll fight you all the way.
Tim - thanks for reading and commenting. One of the facets of this discussion that I find so interesting is how two people can come from similar backgrounds, be of a similar age, and yet be at different seasons in their life. Everyone's journey is unique and each of us has to come to things in our own time. All the best!
I read Miguel Street by V. S. Naipaul years ago. I hated it. It got left behind at my parents’ home years ago. At Thanksgiving I found it, read it, couldn’t put it down and loved it. Seasons of my life might be defined by what books found me at the right time.
Max - I absolutely agree. I believe books find us when we need them. I have several examples of similar situations in my own life where I had different experiences with a book years later. Appreciate your taking the time to comment here.
Thank you for sharing your personal journey here, Matthew. I think it's so important and astute to recognise when we are in the right place (or season) to take on any challenge, let alone something as huge as the Appalachian trail! I hope you get to it someday, but it's great that you recognise what you really want to focus on in the season in front of you. Have you read Cheryl Strayed's 'Wild'? This is an example of a book I read in the "right" season (for me). I found the book as I was grieving for my own mum, and felt Strayed's own grief mirrored my own. Taking on the Appalachian trail as a way to navigate her loss inspired me very much.
Thanks so much Kate. I have read "Wild" and thought it was very good. I liked it better than the movie, although the movie was ok too. I thought she did a great job of explaining how the trail was integral to navigating the chaos in her life at that time. I think the best trails are like that. They are hard and challenging but the reward at the end is amazing, not to mention all the things we learned along the way.
I know you want to talk books, but I want to talk about trails. Have you considered setting aside the pressure of completing the trail as a through-hiker, and just hiking it incrementally over the course of several years. There is so much pressure to do it all at once, but there is beauty in not being rushed. In addition, the time away from your family will feel less of an obstacle, the time in each place would not be soured by utter exhaustion, and you could choose the time of year that most calls to you in each section. It's just a thought, but I think the idea that endurance is goal may be causing a lot of people from missing out on the full beauty of the trail, and may be holding people back from years of incredible life experiences that don't have to be experienced in one fell swoop.
Troy - thanks for taking the time to join the conversation, it means so much. For me, books are just a gateway to greater conversation so yes, I do want to talk books, but I also want to talk life, which is what it is really all about.
I have heard of quite a few people doing section hikes of the trail and I 100% agree with you that it is valid method of completing the trail. To be honest, that is what I will probably end up doing, a week or two per year until complete. There was a part of me that wanted to do the whole thing in one shot but for all the reasons you mention, taking it in smaller chunks might just be the better way to go. All the best!
Thank you for the mention, Matthew! Seasons of life and how they shape our journeys, literary or otherwise—there's so much here and you capture it all beautifully. Your recognition that perhaps what is best for you and your loved ones is not what you originally imagined is admirable. It reminds me of how, in fiction, there is a shift from what a character wants to what a character needs. I have a feeling you'll get to that hike at some point.😊
Thanks so much Maria. I really appreciate your regular engagement here. I think you are right about the trail. As Troy mentioned in another comment, one option is to do it in smaller chunks over a period of years. I think that makes a lot of sense and could work as a better plan for me.
Matthew, I enjoyed your story and points about the right time to read a book. I’ve heard my students say that they hated a book until they read-read it as an adult. I will say that I’ve picked up books I taught myself --enjoyed them more as a retired teacher because of experience and age. This winter I’m re-reading Twain as an example!
Hi Diane. Growing up near Hannibal, MO, I read many of Twain's works during my school years but I probably need to take another go at them now that so much time has passed. I am sure it would be a significantly different experience. Thanks so much for your years of teaching. My mom, sister, and wife are all teachers and I know how important those roles are. Let me know what you think of Twain this time around.
Certainly. Keep up the good work, Matthew!
I resonated with this a lot. Over the past year, I've tried to move away from rating books (except for my own benefit) because you're right; sometimes you're not in the right season for a particular book, and there's no reason to beat yourself up over it. I've tried certain books that didn't work for me, but upon returning to them at a later time, found that I was much more able to appreciate them. Some of them have become lifetime favourites.
And on a more personal note, I've also been in a long season of having to focus narrowly on family and health. It can be frustrating not having the capacity to do All The Things. I'm still trying to make my peace with that, so this post was quite timely. Thank you, Matthew.
Tiffany - Thanks for taking the time to comment, it means a lot to me. It is interesting that you bring up ratings. I had a Goodreads account for 10+ years. It was a great site for keeping track of what I read and wanted to read but it was very ratings focused. I realized that some books I had rated highly when I was younger I could barely remember and other that had seemed not as good had stuck with me. The ratings themselves were subjective to the season of my life. So I recently deleted Goodreads because I wanted to move away from a ratings oriented mentality and I am also gracefully exiting social media in an effort to simplify life in general. I have found that keeping a simple notebook with a list is just as effective and often serendipitous as I look through and remember things read from different seasons.
I think that the recognition that we have a limited capacity and need to prioritize things in our lives is hard, especially for people who have been accustomed to trying to do it all. There are still plenty of days I argue with myself regarding what things need my attention most. Self-care, mental health, and physical health are at the top of the list because if those things aren't in a good place then I am useless to my family. Thanks for sharing your own personal experience and being vulnerable. All the best!
Same! I'm still on Goodreads, but also trying to move away from it. It's definitely an easy way to track books, but I'd like to avoid Amazon-owned things if possible. I got a reading journal I plan to start using next year, and I also use Notion.
Very good point - something I am learning too. There's not much point pushing ourselves past our limits when it just leaves us even more incapacitated. Best wishes as you navigate all that as well!
And side note on social media: I've now been off all forms of that for two months and loving it. I left very abruptly, however, so I do have a plan to go back for a short period and let people know about my move to Substack so they have a way to keep up with me if they still wish haha.
I gave everyone a heads up that 31 December is my last day and then I will delete Facebook and Instagram. I am barely using them as it is though since I already removed them from my phone. It is amazing how much time I get back in my day.
So much in here, Matthew, and some great questions to get us all involved.
The book I set aside (way back in the late-90s, I suspect) was 'Underworld' by Don DeLillo. Wrong time, too distracted, the book was too long. I'm in a different 'season' now and so it became the 800+ page first read of this year, an intentionally slower read. I was ready for it and it was ready for me.
I like this notion of life's 'seasons'. I spent 30 years in the traditional'ish 'world of work' (military) and then broke out without knowing what next. After realising quickly that I wasn't made for the usual corporate follow up to that career, I set out on a season of discovery and curiosity. We created a small business, I ran a marathon, read more, starting to write with a bit more intent, and I discovered a pathway to being a mentor (an 'encourager') which I would not have found if I'd stayed mired in work.
The walk. It's great to have a massive goal, but the weight of it may be too much, the disappointment of the 'right' time not showing up could lead to regret. Why not make it a family thing. Do some small hikes together - or you and one other member of the family. Talk about your ambition ... make plans to do sections. Tie that in to a family holiday - don't insist that anyone joins in ... use the holiday accommodation as a base for you to walk for a few days while the family chooses other stuff ... meet up for a celebratory meal at the end of the section you walked. Get folk involved in other ways than shutting yourself into it for months on end. Measure your incremental achievements against the wider value of family. Just a thought.
And keep on writing, and thinking.
Barrie
Barrie - sincerely appreciate you taking the time for such a thoughtful response.
I had a nearly identical experience with 'Underworld' except that I haven't picked it back up yet! It is on my list to take another look at in the next few years.
Seems that we have had somewhat similar paths. This next summer will complete a 24 year military career for me. I am ready for something new but not sure exactly what that means yet. I have no interest at all entering the corporate world. Dream job would be working in an antiquarian book store but not many of those around here. We will see what comes.
I think that your ideas about my hike are good. Troy made similar comments previously. They mimic my own thoughts. I can see doing a week or two here and there. Including family members for a section if desired. So many possibilities. Plus doing it over a number of years is much less stressful and more logistical feasible. Could be a relationship building event rather than just a solo walk in the woods.
Appreciate your encouragement. I look forward to continued dialogue and building friendship here.
Matthew
Glad it struck a tuneful chord, Matthew. In the run up to next Summer, if you fancy jumping on a Zoom call to swap ideas about 'transition' I'd be happy to throw some experience into the mix. I've spoken to quite a few contemporaries as they went through the process. My own post-Service experience is well off the beaten track compared to many of the guys I served with. Let me know and I'm sure we can wrestle time zones into submission. PS ... it sounds like a business opportunity if that bookshop doesn't exist. Add some cool stationery, a regular book club, a decent coffee machine, writing booths to linger in and you have all the makings! I'd visit!
Without sounding cheesy, thank you for your Service.
Barrie
You are so right about the different seasons of our lives. This is why you can never force someone to change or grow. If they aren’t ready, if it isn’t spring for them, they’ll fight you all the way.
Tim - thanks for reading and commenting. One of the facets of this discussion that I find so interesting is how two people can come from similar backgrounds, be of a similar age, and yet be at different seasons in their life. Everyone's journey is unique and each of us has to come to things in our own time. All the best!