Thank you for sharing this , Matthew. The line that 'spoke' to me here was this: "If you don't like what you see, what are you doing to change it?" I think we could apply this to so many areas of our lives, and as someone who is also approaching various 'transitions' within my life (mostly due to my age and life cycle, but also as a mother) I found this sentence stopped me in my tracks: I feel I have been dissatisfied and grouchy at times lately, but actually asking myself how I can change my thoughts around this might be what I should be doing! Love seeing how you are evolving the newsletter to fit what you want to put out into the world :) (Also loved the title of the essay! ;)
Kate, thanks as always. That particular line - "If you don't like what you see, what are you doing to change it?" has been bouncing around in this echo chamber of a head for a bit now. I have set some fitness goals for myself over the next year because that is really an area I need to work on transforming. My 20 year old metabolism isn't working the same in my 40s. This is a real tough area for me as I am a foodie but also an emotional eater. I need to change my relationship with food. One more area of my life I can keep growing in!
Such a good question that could be applied to so many areas of life, I think. Also, realising you don't have the same metabolism as in your 20s is a bummer...
Loving the audio, btw! Think it works well for personal essays.
Great! You really put your heart into this, Matthew, and it was a pleasure to read. I wish you all the best in your life and your new career. We'll keep in touch. Books and life!
Don, I have a number of topics on my notepad next to my computer that I want to explore in my ongoing journey. Mindfulness and related spiritual practices are on there. I intend on keeping in close touch as I begin to explore those areas. Thanks my friend and really happy we have connected. I hope we can find opportunities to go deeper in our friendship.
This is my favorite of all your posts. As someone who has experienced transformation as an ongoing business for nearly two decades, I have come to recognize the steps of the process. I keep thinking it leads to some magical center/ certainty, but no sight of that yet! Looking forward to the new posts!
Priya, I am grateful you liked this post as it really came from the heart. In looking back I realize I have been in a constant state of transformation but I wasn't always mindful of it or taking proper action on it. I think it is necessary to be intentional about the transformative process or we may change in a way we didn't want. I look forward to our continued conversations.
Matthew, this was such a wonderful read and so relatable. Retirement has been a difficult transition for me because I planned to work longer and health forced me to retire before I wanted to. I find a lot of my friends and acquaintances feel quite ungrounded these days. You are not alone. I have really enjoyed watching your publication transform over the months. Both you and your writing are growing and changing.
Pamela, thank you my friend. I am sorry that your retirement has been challenging. I know that is the case for many people for various reasons. Having worked most of our lives, it is normal to feel disconnected or ungrounded from our reality, especially if we loved the work we did. I definitely believe there will be a period of transition but that is also one reason I am trying to be proactive and build something here so that I have something to keep me centered. I am excited and nervous to see what develops.
Thank you Matthew. It is a common theme among retirees when health issues take center stage. I am glad to have found Substack, because like you I need something to keep me centered.
Simply beautiful, Matt. Your ability to communicate emotion through writing helped me to actually feel what transformation is like. Tapping into my somatic intelligence is a growth intention of mine this year, and you continue to help me do that through your writing. I'm grateful to you my friend!
Brandon, thanks for the kind words and of course you have been an integral part of my journey over the past six months. I may have gotten here on my own eventually but I think you cut several years off the process through your ability to guide me as I worked through my thoughts. Somatic intelligence huh? That's a new one for me. I have homework now.
Becoming more in tune with the signals my emotions and body are sending me and learning to uncover the source of those feelings. That's how I define it. I'm sure you can find some other definitions to form your own ideas about it. 😁
Put very simply, Matthew, you express what we feel. Either through a book or a life experience, you grasp the essence and bring it to us, woven into a beautiful piece of writing. I like your new descriptors and think they best describe your writing and your aims.
Thanks Maureen, I am glad you appreciated this. Sometimes I worry that when I start to get off on my personal tangents it won't be interesting to others. Fortunately, so far it has seemed to build connections rather than break them. Glad to have you here and I look forward to future discussions on life and literature.
Thanks Noreen, I am glad that you connected with this. I think that this has given me a good way forward with my writing, especially as it relates to my life.
Thanks for this. I haven't studied Buddhism but I am interested in many of its tenets. I like the connection here that you mention. I look forward to chatting more about it in the future.
Yes, Matthew I have some looong mala beads ( like a rosary) that I bought in Bhutan. I use them sometimes as a necklace. Instead of beads they are little skulls carved out of yak bone, to remind us of impermanence.
And finally... without meaning to sound preachy or woo woo:
1. EMBRACE IMPERMANENCE:
Recognize the importance of accepting the ever-changing nature of existence. Recognize that everything in life is transient and that clinging to permanence often leads to suffering. By embracing impermanence, you can fully appreciate each moment as it unfolds without the burden of attachment.
Love this Matthew. Powerful message and storytelling. Just found you—as you have me. Interesting that we’ve both developed Stack relationships with Jay. Likewise he and I differ in so many way but have found a way to continue to thoughtfully engage and I’m better for it. I hope he is as well. I look forward to reading more about your transitional retirement journey—having been through it myself a few years ago.
Dee, thanks for reading my work. It really means a lot to me. When I started writing last year I thought it would be like the old days of blogging when my mom and two old aunts were the only ones reading my stuff! Imagine my surprise to have this amazing community. Jay is actually the one who told me about your publication during one of our conversations and I am thankful he did. I am excited to read some of your archive stuff when I get the chance.
This might be one of my favourite essays from you, Matthew. It's lovely and heartfelt. I really like your new description. Each iteration has brought you closer to the heart of what your publication is about, and the concept of transformation seems very fitting for what you write about, as well as the life stage you're in right now. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
Thanks Tiffany. I find that I am able to work through my journey here in this space. I live it in the world but I process it in the writing. And it has been wonderful to make so many connections here.
Your writing touches both my heart & mind as this journey that all of us make,whether we wish to , or not , seems to me, to be not only about transformation but acceptance of what lies ahead.
Thank you Wendy, I am glad we can connect through these words. We are all in that journey of transformation. We either accept it or fight it but we are still going to go through it.
Matthew, I'm happy to have been of whatever help I could offer. And now you see how much and well you're appreciated by your readers with this slightly new tack you've taken to leeward. (I'm faking it with the naval terminology but it's fun. I've had to learn for the Magellan novel.) By the way, I wish I was only "a few years older" than you, kind sir. What I wouldn't give to be 90 again! ;)
Jay, it is interesting how you and my coach both helped me find answers by asking probing questions. Neither of you gave me answers. The answers were in me but you helped find them and that is truly valuable. The nautical terminology is fun. My wife gets mad when I use it in everyday conversation. "Swab the decks woman! Why is that bulkhead dirty? Has the head been scrubbed down yet?" Of course, I never say those things because I value my life, and my wife. :)
The questioning is the method. All teachers are indebted to Socrates for that. And wise choice with you wife! LOL. By the way, I neglected to mention. as at least one other commenter did, that that title for this piece is aces. That's writing.
I so appreciated reading this, Matthew. As someone who seems to be perpetually on the road from "here to there" (wherever there is 😂), so much of what you wrote resonates with me. And for what it's worth, I much prefer your new description. Cheers!
Thanks Lou, glad you enjoyed this and I appreciate the kind words. I am a work in progress and I have no idea where there is but we might eventually find it if we keep looking!
Bravo. I find myself relating to where you are currently at, as I type up my latest newsletter, I will have to link to yours as it's rather coincidental this in-between space I feel many are experiencing, too.
I like your new description, as well. This is my 5th month on Substack, and I've reworded my bio, about page, Substack description, and so on as I try, like you, to figure out what makes sense and is true to me.
A heartfelt post and a brilliant summary of The Count of Monte Cristo!
Lani, thanks for your generous comments. I have changed my publication name twice, my short description 5 or 6 times, bio/about page are continual works in progress, etc... I think I am at a place now where I am saying that things are good enough for a bit and I am going to focus on other things such as writing and reading and family, etc... Thanks again and glad that this post resonated with you. I look forward to reading your post as well.
Thank you for sharing this , Matthew. The line that 'spoke' to me here was this: "If you don't like what you see, what are you doing to change it?" I think we could apply this to so many areas of our lives, and as someone who is also approaching various 'transitions' within my life (mostly due to my age and life cycle, but also as a mother) I found this sentence stopped me in my tracks: I feel I have been dissatisfied and grouchy at times lately, but actually asking myself how I can change my thoughts around this might be what I should be doing! Love seeing how you are evolving the newsletter to fit what you want to put out into the world :) (Also loved the title of the essay! ;)
Kate, thanks as always. That particular line - "If you don't like what you see, what are you doing to change it?" has been bouncing around in this echo chamber of a head for a bit now. I have set some fitness goals for myself over the next year because that is really an area I need to work on transforming. My 20 year old metabolism isn't working the same in my 40s. This is a real tough area for me as I am a foodie but also an emotional eater. I need to change my relationship with food. One more area of my life I can keep growing in!
Such a good question that could be applied to so many areas of life, I think. Also, realising you don't have the same metabolism as in your 20s is a bummer...
Loving the audio, btw! Think it works well for personal essays.
Great! You really put your heart into this, Matthew, and it was a pleasure to read. I wish you all the best in your life and your new career. We'll keep in touch. Books and life!
Don, I have a number of topics on my notepad next to my computer that I want to explore in my ongoing journey. Mindfulness and related spiritual practices are on there. I intend on keeping in close touch as I begin to explore those areas. Thanks my friend and really happy we have connected. I hope we can find opportunities to go deeper in our friendship.
Absolutely, Matthew. Thank you for being a friend!
This is my favorite of all your posts. As someone who has experienced transformation as an ongoing business for nearly two decades, I have come to recognize the steps of the process. I keep thinking it leads to some magical center/ certainty, but no sight of that yet! Looking forward to the new posts!
Priya, I am grateful you liked this post as it really came from the heart. In looking back I realize I have been in a constant state of transformation but I wasn't always mindful of it or taking proper action on it. I think it is necessary to be intentional about the transformative process or we may change in a way we didn't want. I look forward to our continued conversations.
Matthew, this was such a wonderful read and so relatable. Retirement has been a difficult transition for me because I planned to work longer and health forced me to retire before I wanted to. I find a lot of my friends and acquaintances feel quite ungrounded these days. You are not alone. I have really enjoyed watching your publication transform over the months. Both you and your writing are growing and changing.
Pamela, thank you my friend. I am sorry that your retirement has been challenging. I know that is the case for many people for various reasons. Having worked most of our lives, it is normal to feel disconnected or ungrounded from our reality, especially if we loved the work we did. I definitely believe there will be a period of transition but that is also one reason I am trying to be proactive and build something here so that I have something to keep me centered. I am excited and nervous to see what develops.
Thank you Matthew. It is a common theme among retirees when health issues take center stage. I am glad to have found Substack, because like you I need something to keep me centered.
Simply beautiful, Matt. Your ability to communicate emotion through writing helped me to actually feel what transformation is like. Tapping into my somatic intelligence is a growth intention of mine this year, and you continue to help me do that through your writing. I'm grateful to you my friend!
Brandon, thanks for the kind words and of course you have been an integral part of my journey over the past six months. I may have gotten here on my own eventually but I think you cut several years off the process through your ability to guide me as I worked through my thoughts. Somatic intelligence huh? That's a new one for me. I have homework now.
Becoming more in tune with the signals my emotions and body are sending me and learning to uncover the source of those feelings. That's how I define it. I'm sure you can find some other definitions to form your own ideas about it. 😁
Put very simply, Matthew, you express what we feel. Either through a book or a life experience, you grasp the essence and bring it to us, woven into a beautiful piece of writing. I like your new descriptors and think they best describe your writing and your aims.
Thanks Maureen, I am glad you appreciated this. Sometimes I worry that when I start to get off on my personal tangents it won't be interesting to others. Fortunately, so far it has seemed to build connections rather than break them. Glad to have you here and I look forward to future discussions on life and literature.
This is great Matthew! So much I can take away from it. Love the new description too, it seems perfect.
Thanks Noreen, I am glad that you connected with this. I think that this has given me a good way forward with my writing, especially as it relates to my life.
Impermanence, the Buddhist tenet came to mind reading this. I'm on the same road.
Thanks for this. I haven't studied Buddhism but I am interested in many of its tenets. I like the connection here that you mention. I look forward to chatting more about it in the future.
Yes, Matthew I have some looong mala beads ( like a rosary) that I bought in Bhutan. I use them sometimes as a necklace. Instead of beads they are little skulls carved out of yak bone, to remind us of impermanence.
And finally... without meaning to sound preachy or woo woo:
1. EMBRACE IMPERMANENCE:
Recognize the importance of accepting the ever-changing nature of existence. Recognize that everything in life is transient and that clinging to permanence often leads to suffering. By embracing impermanence, you can fully appreciate each moment as it unfolds without the burden of attachment.
Love this Matthew. Powerful message and storytelling. Just found you—as you have me. Interesting that we’ve both developed Stack relationships with Jay. Likewise he and I differ in so many way but have found a way to continue to thoughtfully engage and I’m better for it. I hope he is as well. I look forward to reading more about your transitional retirement journey—having been through it myself a few years ago.
Dee, thanks for reading my work. It really means a lot to me. When I started writing last year I thought it would be like the old days of blogging when my mom and two old aunts were the only ones reading my stuff! Imagine my surprise to have this amazing community. Jay is actually the one who told me about your publication during one of our conversations and I am thankful he did. I am excited to read some of your archive stuff when I get the chance.
You and me both. Now I kinda wish my Mom wasn’t reading my stuff 😉
I’m glad to hear Jay is spreading the word. I do the same. Blessings to you new friend.
This might be one of my favourite essays from you, Matthew. It's lovely and heartfelt. I really like your new description. Each iteration has brought you closer to the heart of what your publication is about, and the concept of transformation seems very fitting for what you write about, as well as the life stage you're in right now. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
Thanks Tiffany. I find that I am able to work through my journey here in this space. I live it in the world but I process it in the writing. And it has been wonderful to make so many connections here.
Your writing touches both my heart & mind as this journey that all of us make,whether we wish to , or not , seems to me, to be not only about transformation but acceptance of what lies ahead.
Thank you Wendy, I am glad we can connect through these words. We are all in that journey of transformation. We either accept it or fight it but we are still going to go through it.
Lovely reflection, Matthew. I appreciate and identify with so much you have written here (and elsewhere). Your prose is so eloquent and honest.
John, thanks, my friend. It is beautiful how writing can help us work out all the tangled things inside of us.
Matthew, I'm happy to have been of whatever help I could offer. And now you see how much and well you're appreciated by your readers with this slightly new tack you've taken to leeward. (I'm faking it with the naval terminology but it's fun. I've had to learn for the Magellan novel.) By the way, I wish I was only "a few years older" than you, kind sir. What I wouldn't give to be 90 again! ;)
Jay, it is interesting how you and my coach both helped me find answers by asking probing questions. Neither of you gave me answers. The answers were in me but you helped find them and that is truly valuable. The nautical terminology is fun. My wife gets mad when I use it in everyday conversation. "Swab the decks woman! Why is that bulkhead dirty? Has the head been scrubbed down yet?" Of course, I never say those things because I value my life, and my wife. :)
The questioning is the method. All teachers are indebted to Socrates for that. And wise choice with you wife! LOL. By the way, I neglected to mention. as at least one other commenter did, that that title for this piece is aces. That's writing.
I so appreciated reading this, Matthew. As someone who seems to be perpetually on the road from "here to there" (wherever there is 😂), so much of what you wrote resonates with me. And for what it's worth, I much prefer your new description. Cheers!
Thanks Lou, glad you enjoyed this and I appreciate the kind words. I am a work in progress and I have no idea where there is but we might eventually find it if we keep looking!
Bravo. I find myself relating to where you are currently at, as I type up my latest newsletter, I will have to link to yours as it's rather coincidental this in-between space I feel many are experiencing, too.
I like your new description, as well. This is my 5th month on Substack, and I've reworded my bio, about page, Substack description, and so on as I try, like you, to figure out what makes sense and is true to me.
A heartfelt post and a brilliant summary of The Count of Monte Cristo!
Lani, thanks for your generous comments. I have changed my publication name twice, my short description 5 or 6 times, bio/about page are continual works in progress, etc... I think I am at a place now where I am saying that things are good enough for a bit and I am going to focus on other things such as writing and reading and family, etc... Thanks again and glad that this post resonated with you. I look forward to reading your post as well.
You and Jay, of the generous heart and discerning eye, have worked a bit of magic together. Your new mission sings.
Many thanks Rona.