This really resonated with me, Matthew. Hanging up the uniform is something I have done recently, although not from a military perspective, and while freeing, it does open up a whole new perspective and identity- which can be scary! Don't worry- you've got this- whatever that looks like!!!
Ruth - thanks so much for the encouraging words! It is scary to change from something you have done for a long time to something completely new but the possibilities are what really intrigue me. It will be great for my time to be my own and see what I can make of it.
“searching for meaning in a chaotic world” Yes. I’m here for it. I’m very grateful to have your perspective, Matthew. Your work of discernment as you move forward is really solid and inspiring to me. Thank you.
Ann - I am grateful for these kind words and your support. Glad to have you hear for this ongoing journey of discovery and learning. While interesting, it might be a bit boring to do it alone so I am glad for this community.
What I saw in the first post I read from you was your honesty and emotion combined with a love for literature and how it shapes our lives. You haven’t changed from that purpose. I think you’re doing a great job and please keep going. Change is always scary but the only way to grow.
Karen, you have been with me for a while now and have seen my growth over these past few months. I sincerely appreciate your support and your engagement in the comments. It is interesting how the prospect of new adventures can be so exciting and scary at the same time. It is an exciting time and I look forward to sharing the process with you as we go along. Thanks.
Thanks Abra. I was fortunate to have a couple of folks help me with that so that I could hone in on what sets me apart. I agree, it should help others find me who might be interested in what I have to say.
Matthew, I think this may be the best of your essays so far! Six months of consistent writing, showing up, and sharing your words, is a great achievement, as is reaching 900 subscribers. You mention the question of 'Who am I?' when it comes to sharing words as someone without a PhD, and being amongst a sea of literature folks. I feel this too, despite completing an MA last year. I think what I'm learning is that no matter what education or experience we gain, there will always be someone who appears to know more than us. What is so great about this community, I think, is that writers and creatives big and small are here and open for readers to find. Your voice, whilst one amongst many, has just as much 'right' to be here as anyone else's. I love your new introduction to who you are! For my part, I particularly enjoy the personal insights you bring, perhaps because I find this the most difficult writing to achieve for myself, and because I read a lot of women writers, so it's good to get the perspective of a male voice.
Also, although I can't imagine what leaving the Navy must be like after 30 years, it did make me think of my own experience of reaching 50 years of age and contemplating an 'empty nest' soon, when the past 25 years have been wrapped up in being a mother of two children and organising my life around their needs. But I am excited to discover what's next too! :)
Kate - wow, those are kind and encouraging words. That means so much. It is interesting because when I drafted this essay I sat down at my kitchen table and pretended I was writing a letter to my mom telling her all about it. I think that helped it come off more conversational and authentic as I worked through revisions. Maybe I should give that a try with all my essays?
Being a mother and raising children is much harder than sailing around the world and seeing foreign ports. I always say my wife had a harder job being at home while I was off gallivanting and having adventures. I have tremendous respect for all that mothers do. I am excited for you as well to find out what comes next in this always interesting adventure of life.
Matthew, this is such a heartfelt and thoughtful reflection on your experiences and your Substack journey. Everything you discuss here is what draws me to your work. I so appreciate your unique voice, and I look forward to reading your personal essays and being in dialogue with you about literature. Writing and literature play an increasingly important role in my life, and it sounds like it does for you as well. Simply put, I’m so glad I found your Substack, and I’m grateful for your presence on the platform. Thank you as well for being generous and supportive with your time. Here is to your continued success after this incredible achievement and transition.
Jacob, I think we have a mutual fan club, which isn't a bad thing at all. I believe it is important for us men to have authentic friendships, and I have been fortunate to discover some amazing men here who share my interests. I appreciate your support and look forward to our continuing dialogue.
"What does it mean to have a unique voice" Defy popular opinion. Dismiss assumptions. Stand apart. This goes against human nature, and is not that easy to do.
I agree Richard. It is difficult to stand apart from the crowd at times. I hope that I can bring my experiences to the forefront and share that perspective with others. Thanks!
Matthew, you have a life rich in experience to draw upon and a natural ability to write. You will not necessarily write about all those experiences, but they have helped form your outlook and understanding of others and of life. Every book you read and review benefits from these experiences, as does every article you write. You could acquire an MA and PhD within a few years, but what are the chances of those with such qualifications acquiring your life skills ? You are rightly proud of your life and Navy Service. When you retire, you will keep that pride with you, for it will always be part of you, and will always reflect in your writing.
Maureen, I really appreciate this kind and encouraging comment. I am fortunate to have a life of varied experiences. Who could imagine a farm boy from Missouri traveling the world? Many have not been so lucky. There have been challenges along the way but they have helped to form me into who I am and so while I might wish they had not happened, I am grateful for who I have become. All the best!
Oh, Matthew, I hear your voice in every word here, and it so resonates with my own teaching philosophy and current emphasis on personal storytelling. Ironically, I posted a resource on my site today about finding a personal voice and four mental tools for writing. The lesson I include there is related to some of what you present here, so I appreciate the synchronicity :-) Your voice shines through precisely because you've been on this writing journey and didn't know where it would take you. You've tried out a bunch of things, dug into what you like and don't like, learned to be kind to yourself — and you'll continue to make sense of the uniqueness of your life.
You don't need a Ph.D. to respond passionately and personally to the world. What writers need is bravery and a desire to make meaning, as you amply display. I know from reading your comments on other pieces that you always have thought-provoking things to add to the conversation.
Two other thoughts: while I understand the need to identify what makes your Substack work distinctive, I wouldn't worry so much about "value added." I find concepts like that reductive, especially because writing here also provides an opportunity to test out ideas and to be a little messy. Second thought: DM me if you'd like my magazine-editor take on how to tighten your blurb. Cheers and congratulations!
Martha - you are always generous in your comments and thoughts. I sincerely appreciate that and am glad that we encountered one another in this space. What a small world that you posted something similar about voice. That serendipity is a beautiful thing in my humble opinion. I get what you mean about the value added piece and you are right, we need to be allowed to be a little messy at times. So thank you for that and I will definitely shoot you a DM. Thanks again.
Matthew, congratulations on the six-month milestone and your readership growth. I think you can see from the comments so far how you are appreciated and respected among your fellow Substack writers. I feel the same, and I feel it in part because of the doubts you express here and your perseverance through them. I imagine that quality has served you well in your military career.
I’m going to dare to offer some thoughts here about what you say has troubled you. They’re just one person’s thoughts, offered with the best of intentions. They need carry no more weight than that.
They are also not that very much and need a lot more set up than what they are in the end! :)
I’ll quote three passages from your essay, in the order they appear.
“But am I truly discovering my voice? Am I becoming more confident? I’m uncertain. It seems like I have scattered myself, attempting to navigate through various topics and offer something valuable to my readers.”
There is where you articulate your doubt.
“Many writers talk about books and how literature relates to their lives. They write book reviews and host read-alongs. Some have PhDs and their writing is profound and relevant. I don’t feel intelligent enough to contribute to the conversation. It’s hard not to compare myself to them. So where do I fit in? Why would anyone be interested in my voice? The most complicated question is: What value do I add here?”
Here is where you identify at least one contributing element to that doubt in specific terms.
“Everything is being reborn, including me. These past few years have been tough yet fulfilling. I can finally feel myself emerging from a long, dark night of the soul. My 30-year winter is finally over. My inner self is thawing, and a new life is beginning within me, just like in spring.”
This is a clear expression of where you think you stand at this point in your life, and I have seen this underlying your efforts on Substack from the start, through whatever adaptations you may have made. But I don’t see this in that description of your publication’s focus, which in its first, less personal part is more generic.
So what I’ll suggest is something you really already have mostly been doing from the start from what I’ve seen. You are not writing from the standpoint of people you consider more expert in literature, by training and profession. You write from your unique set of life circumstances – your soon to be former career, your formative, even troubled life experiences, your current familial contentment – and from a clear hunger to learn and be shaped in your ongoing transformation by literature.
My own essay, yesterday, by coincidence, focuses a great deal on how my (and everyone’s) personal and emotional life played a role shaping my intellectual expression.
You can bring this perspective to all you do – in Zen and martial arts it’s called Shoshin, “beginner’s mind,” which one needn’t even be a beginner to possess, just someone still open to learning and seeing with fresh eyes. Along with the “experts,” Substack is burgeoning with writers who are beginning, transforming, and offering the uniqueness of their beginnings and transformations to their readers. But everyone is different as who they are.
Jay, thank you for this deeply generous comment and feedback. This is one of the reasons I love this community - the constant helping each other along in our journey. You are a writer I have admired for some time and I am grateful we have become a part of each other's community. I need to maintain my military bearing here in front of all the others so I won't get too teary eyed and sentimental but I appreciate everything you have written and take it to heart. I will reach out directly to ask some additional questions of you if you don't mind. All the best my friend.
I agree, Matthew. It's an extraordinarily supportive community, particularly the part of it that we participate in, of readers, writers, and literary people of all kinds. Happy to talk further.
Also, I take it, then, that the military is like baseball -- no crying? :)
Congratulations and how exciting it must be to be starting this new venture with your Substack and post military career. Thank you for your service and I look forward to reading more from you.
Brian, thanks for reading and for the kind comment. It is an exciting time in our household and in my life. I am looking forward to what is ahead! All the best.
Lovely, Matthew! Glad to be along for the journey! No uniform, but I shared some of your feelings upon retirement in December of 2022. My changing identity was a big deal, but it's been amazing how comfortable it has felt to discover the person I am outside the work world!
Cherie, you are a treasure! Thank you for the kind words. I am excited to discover who I am outside the military. I imagine there will be some bumps but I believe that like you, I will find my comfort zone quickly.
This really resonated with me, Matthew. Hanging up the uniform is something I have done recently, although not from a military perspective, and while freeing, it does open up a whole new perspective and identity- which can be scary! Don't worry- you've got this- whatever that looks like!!!
Ruth - thanks so much for the encouraging words! It is scary to change from something you have done for a long time to something completely new but the possibilities are what really intrigue me. It will be great for my time to be my own and see what I can make of it.
“searching for meaning in a chaotic world” Yes. I’m here for it. I’m very grateful to have your perspective, Matthew. Your work of discernment as you move forward is really solid and inspiring to me. Thank you.
Ann - I am grateful for these kind words and your support. Glad to have you hear for this ongoing journey of discovery and learning. While interesting, it might be a bit boring to do it alone so I am glad for this community.
What I saw in the first post I read from you was your honesty and emotion combined with a love for literature and how it shapes our lives. You haven’t changed from that purpose. I think you’re doing a great job and please keep going. Change is always scary but the only way to grow.
Karen, you have been with me for a while now and have seen my growth over these past few months. I sincerely appreciate your support and your engagement in the comments. It is interesting how the prospect of new adventures can be so exciting and scary at the same time. It is an exciting time and I look forward to sharing the process with you as we go along. Thanks.
Congrats! I look forward to the next six months!
Thanks David - you have been a supportive advocate in my corner since the early days. I look forward to what the future has for both of us.
I like that you added more about your unique perspective to your description. I think that will help your people find you.
Thanks Abra. I was fortunate to have a couple of folks help me with that so that I could hone in on what sets me apart. I agree, it should help others find me who might be interested in what I have to say.
Matthew, I think this may be the best of your essays so far! Six months of consistent writing, showing up, and sharing your words, is a great achievement, as is reaching 900 subscribers. You mention the question of 'Who am I?' when it comes to sharing words as someone without a PhD, and being amongst a sea of literature folks. I feel this too, despite completing an MA last year. I think what I'm learning is that no matter what education or experience we gain, there will always be someone who appears to know more than us. What is so great about this community, I think, is that writers and creatives big and small are here and open for readers to find. Your voice, whilst one amongst many, has just as much 'right' to be here as anyone else's. I love your new introduction to who you are! For my part, I particularly enjoy the personal insights you bring, perhaps because I find this the most difficult writing to achieve for myself, and because I read a lot of women writers, so it's good to get the perspective of a male voice.
Also, although I can't imagine what leaving the Navy must be like after 30 years, it did make me think of my own experience of reaching 50 years of age and contemplating an 'empty nest' soon, when the past 25 years have been wrapped up in being a mother of two children and organising my life around their needs. But I am excited to discover what's next too! :)
Kate - wow, those are kind and encouraging words. That means so much. It is interesting because when I drafted this essay I sat down at my kitchen table and pretended I was writing a letter to my mom telling her all about it. I think that helped it come off more conversational and authentic as I worked through revisions. Maybe I should give that a try with all my essays?
Being a mother and raising children is much harder than sailing around the world and seeing foreign ports. I always say my wife had a harder job being at home while I was off gallivanting and having adventures. I have tremendous respect for all that mothers do. I am excited for you as well to find out what comes next in this always interesting adventure of life.
Congrats on these rapid six months, and your 24 years, and thirty!
Thanks Tara! Appreciate your encouragement and presence here. It means so much.
Matthew, this is such a heartfelt and thoughtful reflection on your experiences and your Substack journey. Everything you discuss here is what draws me to your work. I so appreciate your unique voice, and I look forward to reading your personal essays and being in dialogue with you about literature. Writing and literature play an increasingly important role in my life, and it sounds like it does for you as well. Simply put, I’m so glad I found your Substack, and I’m grateful for your presence on the platform. Thank you as well for being generous and supportive with your time. Here is to your continued success after this incredible achievement and transition.
Jacob, I think we have a mutual fan club, which isn't a bad thing at all. I believe it is important for us men to have authentic friendships, and I have been fortunate to discover some amazing men here who share my interests. I appreciate your support and look forward to our continuing dialogue.
Congratulations, Matthew!
Thank you Priya!
Congratulations on all your accomplishments!
Thank you Leanna - I appreciate those kind words. All the best to you.
"What does it mean to have a unique voice" Defy popular opinion. Dismiss assumptions. Stand apart. This goes against human nature, and is not that easy to do.
I agree Richard. It is difficult to stand apart from the crowd at times. I hope that I can bring my experiences to the forefront and share that perspective with others. Thanks!
And raise a little you know what in the meantime : )
Matthew, you have a life rich in experience to draw upon and a natural ability to write. You will not necessarily write about all those experiences, but they have helped form your outlook and understanding of others and of life. Every book you read and review benefits from these experiences, as does every article you write. You could acquire an MA and PhD within a few years, but what are the chances of those with such qualifications acquiring your life skills ? You are rightly proud of your life and Navy Service. When you retire, you will keep that pride with you, for it will always be part of you, and will always reflect in your writing.
Maureen, I really appreciate this kind and encouraging comment. I am fortunate to have a life of varied experiences. Who could imagine a farm boy from Missouri traveling the world? Many have not been so lucky. There have been challenges along the way but they have helped to form me into who I am and so while I might wish they had not happened, I am grateful for who I have become. All the best!
Oh, Matthew, I hear your voice in every word here, and it so resonates with my own teaching philosophy and current emphasis on personal storytelling. Ironically, I posted a resource on my site today about finding a personal voice and four mental tools for writing. The lesson I include there is related to some of what you present here, so I appreciate the synchronicity :-) Your voice shines through precisely because you've been on this writing journey and didn't know where it would take you. You've tried out a bunch of things, dug into what you like and don't like, learned to be kind to yourself — and you'll continue to make sense of the uniqueness of your life.
You don't need a Ph.D. to respond passionately and personally to the world. What writers need is bravery and a desire to make meaning, as you amply display. I know from reading your comments on other pieces that you always have thought-provoking things to add to the conversation.
Two other thoughts: while I understand the need to identify what makes your Substack work distinctive, I wouldn't worry so much about "value added." I find concepts like that reductive, especially because writing here also provides an opportunity to test out ideas and to be a little messy. Second thought: DM me if you'd like my magazine-editor take on how to tighten your blurb. Cheers and congratulations!
Martha - you are always generous in your comments and thoughts. I sincerely appreciate that and am glad that we encountered one another in this space. What a small world that you posted something similar about voice. That serendipity is a beautiful thing in my humble opinion. I get what you mean about the value added piece and you are right, we need to be allowed to be a little messy at times. So thank you for that and I will definitely shoot you a DM. Thanks again.
Matthew, congratulations on the six-month milestone and your readership growth. I think you can see from the comments so far how you are appreciated and respected among your fellow Substack writers. I feel the same, and I feel it in part because of the doubts you express here and your perseverance through them. I imagine that quality has served you well in your military career.
I’m going to dare to offer some thoughts here about what you say has troubled you. They’re just one person’s thoughts, offered with the best of intentions. They need carry no more weight than that.
They are also not that very much and need a lot more set up than what they are in the end! :)
I’ll quote three passages from your essay, in the order they appear.
“But am I truly discovering my voice? Am I becoming more confident? I’m uncertain. It seems like I have scattered myself, attempting to navigate through various topics and offer something valuable to my readers.”
There is where you articulate your doubt.
“Many writers talk about books and how literature relates to their lives. They write book reviews and host read-alongs. Some have PhDs and their writing is profound and relevant. I don’t feel intelligent enough to contribute to the conversation. It’s hard not to compare myself to them. So where do I fit in? Why would anyone be interested in my voice? The most complicated question is: What value do I add here?”
Here is where you identify at least one contributing element to that doubt in specific terms.
“Everything is being reborn, including me. These past few years have been tough yet fulfilling. I can finally feel myself emerging from a long, dark night of the soul. My 30-year winter is finally over. My inner self is thawing, and a new life is beginning within me, just like in spring.”
This is a clear expression of where you think you stand at this point in your life, and I have seen this underlying your efforts on Substack from the start, through whatever adaptations you may have made. But I don’t see this in that description of your publication’s focus, which in its first, less personal part is more generic.
So what I’ll suggest is something you really already have mostly been doing from the start from what I’ve seen. You are not writing from the standpoint of people you consider more expert in literature, by training and profession. You write from your unique set of life circumstances – your soon to be former career, your formative, even troubled life experiences, your current familial contentment – and from a clear hunger to learn and be shaped in your ongoing transformation by literature.
My own essay, yesterday, by coincidence, focuses a great deal on how my (and everyone’s) personal and emotional life played a role shaping my intellectual expression.
You can bring this perspective to all you do – in Zen and martial arts it’s called Shoshin, “beginner’s mind,” which one needn’t even be a beginner to possess, just someone still open to learning and seeing with fresh eyes. Along with the “experts,” Substack is burgeoning with writers who are beginning, transforming, and offering the uniqueness of their beginnings and transformations to their readers. But everyone is different as who they are.
Just some thoughts – and congratulations again!
That is beautifully unpacked. Rich with care and wisdom.
Jay, thank you for this deeply generous comment and feedback. This is one of the reasons I love this community - the constant helping each other along in our journey. You are a writer I have admired for some time and I am grateful we have become a part of each other's community. I need to maintain my military bearing here in front of all the others so I won't get too teary eyed and sentimental but I appreciate everything you have written and take it to heart. I will reach out directly to ask some additional questions of you if you don't mind. All the best my friend.
I agree, Matthew. It's an extraordinarily supportive community, particularly the part of it that we participate in, of readers, writers, and literary people of all kinds. Happy to talk further.
Also, I take it, then, that the military is like baseball -- no crying? :)
Congratulations and how exciting it must be to be starting this new venture with your Substack and post military career. Thank you for your service and I look forward to reading more from you.
Brian, thanks for reading and for the kind comment. It is an exciting time in our household and in my life. I am looking forward to what is ahead! All the best.
Lovely, Matthew! Glad to be along for the journey! No uniform, but I shared some of your feelings upon retirement in December of 2022. My changing identity was a big deal, but it's been amazing how comfortable it has felt to discover the person I am outside the work world!
Cherie, you are a treasure! Thank you for the kind words. I am excited to discover who I am outside the military. I imagine there will be some bumps but I believe that like you, I will find my comfort zone quickly.