Thank you for sharing this, Matthew. I think we all carry out traumas with us and books can really help us to feel less alone. Though as you point out, reaching out for help from people you trust is also essential for healing. I have seen the 'Kintsugi' or 'maki-e ' pottery technique before and find it beautiful and such a wonderful way to look at something which is 'broken', seeing it as a part of its history. Thank you for this thoughtful, and thought-provoking, piece :)
Kate, thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. As I wrote this piece my mind went down some interesting rabbit holes. While trauma is never fun during the experience, if the healing process is effective, we can result in being a much more beautiful and interesting person than we were before. I think this is why it is so important to embrace the process of recovery rather than trying to hide the trauma from ourselves and others.
It sounds like you had to handle so much pain in such a short period of time; that would have been a lot even to handle in a lifetime. Thank you for sharing as it puts a finer point on the theme. I have been wondering why I read and now write. While both offer entertainment and may be a form of escapism, I'm realizing more and more (particularly with imaginative writing) that both activities help me work through the places I'm stuck, even if it's just on a subconscious level. That is, they are therapeutic. Writing fiction sometimes feels like it is more therapeutic than straight up journaling. Somewhere in my subconscious, as a result of these creative acts (and reading is included in that for me), the otherwise "stuck in my craw" traumas of life dissolve ever so slowly so that over time they become a bit more digestible and their impact dissipates. Odd metaphor but hopefully it comes across. I appreciate you and your insightfulness; your post has expanded my thoughts and feelings - exactly what I look for in a post.
Emily, I really appreciate the insightful comment and thank you for taking the time to read. I think your point is really valid. Reading, writing, or any activity really could be escapism if not directed carefully. But when utilized in an effective way these activities can be extremely therapeutic. I haven't done a lot of personal journaling. I tried a number of times and it was challenging for me. In the same vein I have never even attempted to write fiction. Almost all my writing has been in what I guess we refer to as essay form. Writing somewhat about myself but for others. This process has definitely been beneficial for me. Writing and revising are cathartic in a way and help me to work through stuff, often at the subconscious level. Reading is definitely a creative act! Especially when we engage directly with the text. We become a part of the process and conversation, not only with the story, but also with the author.
Thank you so much for sharing such painful parts of your past. Your vulnerability makes your writing very powerful. ❤️ I love the visual of kintsugi; I know our trials make us stronger and shape us, but the sense that they make us even more beautiful--sparkle, even--is lovely.
Maria, first off, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. It really means the world to me. I had heard about the kintsugi artform several years ago and it has resonated with me ever since. I think as a society we are often conditioned to think of our brokenness as a negative thing. We become ostracized by others and even by our interior selves. When we shift the perspective to seeing our brokenness as an opportunity for beauty I believe it changes the entire dynamic.
A thoughtful piece Matthew. I only recently came across the concept of Kintsugi. It was used in a book called Body Kintsugi by the Bosnian writer Senka Marić. She uses the idea to narrate her journey through breast cancer. It was a very interesting and moving book. Yours and her stories do make me realise how blessedly untroubled my life has been up till now. Look forward to more of your posts.
Simon, thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I learned about Kintsugi from one of my Sailors who was Japanese. His grandfather had been a practitioner of this art. I became fascinated, not only by the beautiful artwork, but its correlation to our lives. I am unfamiliar with the book you mentioned but have added it to my list as this is a topic that really intrigues me.
Without a doubt. I have been stationed in Connecticut, Washington (state), California, Georgia, and Tennessee. I have visited England, Spain, Germany, Italy, Crete, the Seychelles, Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, Dubai, Iraq, Kuwait, Thailand, South Korea, Guam, Japan, and Hawaii. Spent a lot of time underwater on submarines in crazy places including under the artic ice and surfacing at the North Pole. Here is an example of crazy things we would get up to!
My grandfather also served during WW2 which was a deciding factor for me when choosing which branch of service I wanted to join. I grew up hearing his stories.
Thank you Matthew for sharing your story and wisdom. It's inspiring to read about your dedication to sailors and your passion for mentoring. As Hemingway said, 'The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places.' Embracing our brokenness and seeing it as part of our history is a profound perspective. Wishing you continued strength and beauty in your journey ahead.
Winston, I really appreciate you reading my work and joining the conversation. It means a lot to me. I think that many of the best artists, including writers, incorporate their own brokenness into their work. It provides the work with a rawness and reality that the reader can identify with. I only hope to emulate the masters of the craft!
Thanks for taking the time to read Troy. I really appreciate it. For many years I kept a lot of stuff bottled up inside. It didn't really work. Writing is my outlet. Hope you will stick around for more!
Kintsugi is one of my guiding philosophies in life. It's so important to embrace rather than ignore/numb/ reject those parts of us that are in pain and suffering. Easier said than done of course, but when we commit to this it is truely life transformational.
"There's a crack in everything. That's where the light get's in." Leonard Cohen
And books! Yes. I just wrote a comment yesterday on Freya Rohn's Substack about this very thing. Books provide so much solace.
Beautiful, thoughtful, and empathetic piece of writing. Thank you. Jo
Thanks for reading Jo. I really appreciate it and you taking the time to comment. I have so many broken parts I have to find some way to make them beautiful! Love this concept. It is a process but so worth it.
I don't think you are alone there Matthew! Gosh, and don't you find that laughing with gentle humour and awareness at/WITH our "so many broken parts" is just so healing. Jo 💜
I took myself too seriously for too many years. I am definitely at the acceptance stage and with that brings joy and healing. Laughing at ourselves is very freeing.
This is a great piece, and I have three comments/questions. 1. I have always loved the idea of kintsugi, though I didn't know it was called that. 2. The moving to Florida in the middle of the night is intriguing. Have you written about that yet? 3. Your book list brings this up. I've given a lot of thought to readers' preference of material by men vs. women (The Goodreads end-of-year favorites list is nearly all women). Of the authors I list as favorites, there are more men, but the, say, top five books of my life, represents a more equal mix.
Thanks Don. I haven't written about the move to Florida. Lots of topics germinating in the garden of my mind that hopefully I will be able to get to once I am retired from the Navy this summer. My plan at the moment is not to go back to work but rather to focus on writing. I would like to do a memoir someday so we will see what comes of it. In regards to men vs women I don't think there was ever really a preference but rather what was available. As a teenager I really loved sci-fi and fantasy and most of those authors were men. I have made a concerted effort to read more women authors as I got older and I think that now it is probably a decent mix although probably still slightly skewed towards men.
Thank you for sharing this, Matthew. I think we all carry out traumas with us and books can really help us to feel less alone. Though as you point out, reaching out for help from people you trust is also essential for healing. I have seen the 'Kintsugi' or 'maki-e ' pottery technique before and find it beautiful and such a wonderful way to look at something which is 'broken', seeing it as a part of its history. Thank you for this thoughtful, and thought-provoking, piece :)
Kate, thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. As I wrote this piece my mind went down some interesting rabbit holes. While trauma is never fun during the experience, if the healing process is effective, we can result in being a much more beautiful and interesting person than we were before. I think this is why it is so important to embrace the process of recovery rather than trying to hide the trauma from ourselves and others.
It sounds like you had to handle so much pain in such a short period of time; that would have been a lot even to handle in a lifetime. Thank you for sharing as it puts a finer point on the theme. I have been wondering why I read and now write. While both offer entertainment and may be a form of escapism, I'm realizing more and more (particularly with imaginative writing) that both activities help me work through the places I'm stuck, even if it's just on a subconscious level. That is, they are therapeutic. Writing fiction sometimes feels like it is more therapeutic than straight up journaling. Somewhere in my subconscious, as a result of these creative acts (and reading is included in that for me), the otherwise "stuck in my craw" traumas of life dissolve ever so slowly so that over time they become a bit more digestible and their impact dissipates. Odd metaphor but hopefully it comes across. I appreciate you and your insightfulness; your post has expanded my thoughts and feelings - exactly what I look for in a post.
Emily, I really appreciate the insightful comment and thank you for taking the time to read. I think your point is really valid. Reading, writing, or any activity really could be escapism if not directed carefully. But when utilized in an effective way these activities can be extremely therapeutic. I haven't done a lot of personal journaling. I tried a number of times and it was challenging for me. In the same vein I have never even attempted to write fiction. Almost all my writing has been in what I guess we refer to as essay form. Writing somewhat about myself but for others. This process has definitely been beneficial for me. Writing and revising are cathartic in a way and help me to work through stuff, often at the subconscious level. Reading is definitely a creative act! Especially when we engage directly with the text. We become a part of the process and conversation, not only with the story, but also with the author.
Indeed. As evidenced by this exchange!
Beautifully put. So relate to the power of creative writing to alchemise crap to gold. :-)
Thank you so much for sharing such painful parts of your past. Your vulnerability makes your writing very powerful. ❤️ I love the visual of kintsugi; I know our trials make us stronger and shape us, but the sense that they make us even more beautiful--sparkle, even--is lovely.
Maria, first off, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. It really means the world to me. I had heard about the kintsugi artform several years ago and it has resonated with me ever since. I think as a society we are often conditioned to think of our brokenness as a negative thing. We become ostracized by others and even by our interior selves. When we shift the perspective to seeing our brokenness as an opportunity for beauty I believe it changes the entire dynamic.
I couldn’t agree more. That perspective changes how we move through the world. It takes some work to shift that mindset, doesn’t it?
A thoughtful piece Matthew. I only recently came across the concept of Kintsugi. It was used in a book called Body Kintsugi by the Bosnian writer Senka Marić. She uses the idea to narrate her journey through breast cancer. It was a very interesting and moving book. Yours and her stories do make me realise how blessedly untroubled my life has been up till now. Look forward to more of your posts.
Simon, thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I learned about Kintsugi from one of my Sailors who was Japanese. His grandfather had been a practitioner of this art. I became fascinated, not only by the beautiful artwork, but its correlation to our lives. I am unfamiliar with the book you mentioned but have added it to my list as this is a topic that really intrigues me.
I think you must have learned a lot from all the sailors. My grandad served in the navy in WW2. Has it taken you to some interesting places?
Without a doubt. I have been stationed in Connecticut, Washington (state), California, Georgia, and Tennessee. I have visited England, Spain, Germany, Italy, Crete, the Seychelles, Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, Dubai, Iraq, Kuwait, Thailand, South Korea, Guam, Japan, and Hawaii. Spent a lot of time underwater on submarines in crazy places including under the artic ice and surfacing at the North Pole. Here is an example of crazy things we would get up to!
https://twitter.com/NavalInstitute/status/1093991464990851074?lang=en
My grandfather also served during WW2 which was a deciding factor for me when choosing which branch of service I wanted to join. I grew up hearing his stories.
Under the North Pole! Incredible!
Thank you Matthew for sharing your story and wisdom. It's inspiring to read about your dedication to sailors and your passion for mentoring. As Hemingway said, 'The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places.' Embracing our brokenness and seeing it as part of our history is a profound perspective. Wishing you continued strength and beauty in your journey ahead.
Winston, I really appreciate you reading my work and joining the conversation. It means a lot to me. I think that many of the best artists, including writers, incorporate their own brokenness into their work. It provides the work with a rawness and reality that the reader can identify with. I only hope to emulate the masters of the craft!
This is my first read of your works, Matthew. Thank you for being vulnerable and open in your healing. It makes a difference.
Thanks for taking the time to read Troy. I really appreciate it. For many years I kept a lot of stuff bottled up inside. It didn't really work. Writing is my outlet. Hope you will stick around for more!
A beautiful perspective on brokenness - and healing...
Thanks Sydney. Appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.
Kintsugi is one of my guiding philosophies in life. It's so important to embrace rather than ignore/numb/ reject those parts of us that are in pain and suffering. Easier said than done of course, but when we commit to this it is truely life transformational.
"There's a crack in everything. That's where the light get's in." Leonard Cohen
And books! Yes. I just wrote a comment yesterday on Freya Rohn's Substack about this very thing. Books provide so much solace.
Beautiful, thoughtful, and empathetic piece of writing. Thank you. Jo
Thanks for reading Jo. I really appreciate it and you taking the time to comment. I have so many broken parts I have to find some way to make them beautiful! Love this concept. It is a process but so worth it.
I don't think you are alone there Matthew! Gosh, and don't you find that laughing with gentle humour and awareness at/WITH our "so many broken parts" is just so healing. Jo 💜
I took myself too seriously for too many years. I am definitely at the acceptance stage and with that brings joy and healing. Laughing at ourselves is very freeing.
Thank you, Matthew. I recently mention kintsugi in a little piece. A beautiful concept of shattering and healing.
Thanks for reading and taking rhe time to comment. I will check out your piece today. It is a wonderful concept.
This is a great piece, and I have three comments/questions. 1. I have always loved the idea of kintsugi, though I didn't know it was called that. 2. The moving to Florida in the middle of the night is intriguing. Have you written about that yet? 3. Your book list brings this up. I've given a lot of thought to readers' preference of material by men vs. women (The Goodreads end-of-year favorites list is nearly all women). Of the authors I list as favorites, there are more men, but the, say, top five books of my life, represents a more equal mix.
Thanks Don. I haven't written about the move to Florida. Lots of topics germinating in the garden of my mind that hopefully I will be able to get to once I am retired from the Navy this summer. My plan at the moment is not to go back to work but rather to focus on writing. I would like to do a memoir someday so we will see what comes of it. In regards to men vs women I don't think there was ever really a preference but rather what was available. As a teenager I really loved sci-fi and fantasy and most of those authors were men. I have made a concerted effort to read more women authors as I got older and I think that now it is probably a decent mix although probably still slightly skewed towards men.