Of Submarines and Time Machines
In which I discuss the busy years - Marriage, Family, and a Naval Career
Dear Reader - Before getting into today’s post I wanted to take care of a little housekeeping. You may (or may not) have noticed that the name of the newsletter has changed slightly. When I started writing a month ago I picked the first thing that came to my mind, The Books of My Life. While I will certainly talk about that topic, this newsletter is about more than just me. It is about building a community of readers who believe that literature has an impact on our lives. Saying that, I want it to be about all of us and be a place of conversation. Please comment and add your voice to the discussion because this is about The Books of Our Lives.
Eight days in Hawaii wreaked havoc on my internal clock. I struggle when my well-established rhythms are disrupted. The rapid shift in time zones over a short period caused my body to revolt. A few days of no excitement and normalcy got me back on track.
How do you ground yourself after a disruption in your routine? Do you have a process to get to normal? Let me know in the comments.
This is part 4 in a 5 part series introducing myself and my history with reading. Last week’s focus was the relationship between trauma and reading. If you missed it you can catch up at this link.
In 1897, French philosopher Paul Janet put forth the Proportional Reasoning Theory, sometimes known as “log time”. This posited that, as we age, our perception of time changes because it is proportionally relative to how long we have lived. For a five year old, one year would be one-fifth of their life. But at 80 years of age, that same year is a significantly smaller portion of your total experience and therefore seems to have passed more quickly.1
My life crawled for the first 20 years. Thinking every good thing was yet to come, I wanted to get on with living. Following the death of grandpa George in the fall of 1997, time began to speed up and took me on an unexpected ride.
“Be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life.” - Omar Khayyam
1997 - Left Missouri for Walla Walla, Washington - the city so nice, they named it twice. I wandered, searching for purpose. Finding none, I returned home.
2000 - I enlisted in the Navy for a steady paycheck. The Navy sent me to Charleston, South Carolina and then Saratoga Springs, New York.
2003 - I met Jannett in February and we married six weeks later. I was stationed in Groton, Connecticut, on the submarine USS CONNECTICUT (SSN 22). David was born the following year.
2006 - Shore duty took us to the Pacific Northwest. Anamaria came along and we were four.
2010 - I intended to separate and pursue a civilian career but the financial crisis changed our plans. The Navy sent me back to sea on USS SEAWOLF (SSN 21).
2012 - I commissioned as an officer and reported onboard USS NIMITZ (CVN 68), an aircraft carrier. We deployed for nine months in what would be my longest separation from my family.
2014 - My Grandpa Les died the day after my 36th birthday. He was one of my heroes. That summer we moved to San Diego for shore duty. For the first and only time in our careers, my brother Marcus and I were stationed together.
2017 - Jannett’s mom, Juana, passed away from cancer. She was my wife’s best friend and a beautiful soul.
This synopsis can’t do justice to these years. We were constantly on the go, a whirlwind of activity and emotion, time rushing past us at the speed of life. Careers, cross-country moves, births, deaths and more. We were living in a time machine, speeding up and slowing down outside of our control.
As we get older and time goes by faster, we start to question what we are doing with the time we have. What are the things we value? How do we want to spend our days? What are our goals? My primary focus is spending quality time with my family as I often neglected that during the hustle and bustle of my career. I also have some personal aspirations that I focus on including the desire to live well and be well read. What do these mean? Even among those who agree they are worthy pursuits, defining them is subjective. We must ask critical questions to understand their implication for our lives.
What does it mean to have lived well?
Often unsuccessful in my pursuit, for me, to have lived well includes:
First and foremost to be good person. Treat others the way we wish to be treated. Kindness, forgiveness, patience, and love.
Being a good spouse and parent.
Being a good citizen and contributing to society.
Continual self-improvement and life-long learning.
Pursuing hobbies and activities that bring joy to our lives.
Are there other things you would add to this list? Let me know in the comments.
Second:
How does what we read influence how we live?
How does our life influence what we read?
Reading is an activity that changes with the different seasons of our lives. In childhood I read often. During the busy years, not as much. Fast fiction, like Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt series, has always provided entertainment and relaxation for me. When needing to go deeper, I began to explore literary fiction. Everything from the enthralling prose of Neil Gaiman in American Gods and the raw darkness of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian captivated me. Haruki Murakami’s world of magical realism came alive for me in the exploration of 1Q84 and The Wind-up Bird Chronicle.
As I focused on how to best provide for my family, reading provided a means of self-education. Non-fiction works like Steinbeck’s autobiographical Travels with Charley showed me that our stories matter. Lincoln on Leadership taught me to surround myself with people of differing viewpoints in order to hear all sides of a discussion before forming an opinion. The Millionaire Next Door opened my mind to think differently about money and multi-generational wealth. Viktor Frankl’s classic Man’s Search for Meaning helped me to find meaning in my suffering.
Realizing that I had a limited amount of time to read, selectivity was key. Seeking out the right books at the right time became an important part of my reading habit. At the same time, the books I choose to read helped me grow in my roles as husband, father, naval officer, and good citizen.
“Life, if well lived, is long enough.” - Seneca
My son and I had a conversation the summer before he started college. We talked about how fast time went by, especially since my career had so often taken me away from home. We both wished there was more time together. We discussed careers and priorities and life. It was quality time (which happens to be his love language). On this day we didn’t stay on the surface but chose to go deep in our time with each other.
Time is a currency that cannot be replaced once spent. Unlike in fictional narratives, we cannot jump into a time machine and relive the past. While different seasons of our lives seem to pass at different speeds, they all require diligence in order to not be wasted.
As readers, we may at times set sail on the surface through a relaxing journey in the world of reading. But sometimes we must, like the submarine, go deep and explore the hidden depths of literature and life. In doing so we discover treasures in the written word which enlighten us and empower us to lead a life well lived.
If you enjoyed the topic of time you might be interested in reading Charlene Story’s article about conversations with her dad. She discusses how time impacts memory and how, in the end, we all become stories.
Interested in supporting independent bookstores…
Check out my shop on Bookshop.org. All book links in this article are affiliate links and I receive a small commission. The majority of profits support independent booksellers. Books mentioned or quoted in this newsletter but not linked above:
The Time Machine by H.G. Wells
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https://drdavidhamilton.com/why-time-speeds-up-as-you-age/#:~:text=It's%20sometimes%20known%20as%20'log,to%20pass%20ten%20times%20faster.
Looking forward to reading more of your newsletter. For me, nature offers the grounding I need. This afternoon I really needed that grounding - and a walk at the beach, sticking my feet in the water, that was the best medicine.
We are about to travel overseas for a month and the magnitude of it hit home today.
The evolution of your newsletter's name reflects a beautiful shift. It's a dance between rediscovering normalcy and embracing the new rhythm life offers. Looking forward to more chapters in your literary exploration!